Thursday, November 26, 2009

Behold! A Modern Miracle Machination!

Sharkilius-93 Physical Matter Sublimator
Behold! A new invention of scientific genius that is sure to make your enemies vanish – literally! I present, the SHARKILIUS-93 PHYSICAL MATTER SUBLIMATOR, or as we call it, the ‘Shark’. Powered with ten thousand Herzetrons worth of Hezeliot Crystals, wielding the ‘Shark’ will give you tremendous power like you’ve never felt before. Each squeeze of the trigger releases a wide ray-beam of invisible Hezeliot particles that convert any living creature into a cloud of red smoke upon contact! The secret is our Hezeliot crystals, obtained from the planet Hetzbarr; these crystals have the unique properly of breaking down solid matter into gaseous form in a process called sublimation. Brilliant stuff! But that’s not all! We have now added the handy function of a Beam Narrower for your convenience! By adjusting a knob, you can now narrow the wide beam of Hezeliot particles, so the Herzetron power can be concentrated on single creatures rather than the entire battlefield. With this narrow beam concentration, our scientists have proven that a regular giant octopus can be wholly sublimated in exactly two Earth seconds! Marvellous indeed! Additionally, the discreet toggle switch allows you to reduce the power of the ‘Shark,’ all the way down to zero Herzetrons for safe transportation. What are you waiting for? Get your ‘Shark’ today!